Archive for April, 2009

And the Winner Is…

April 28, 2009


Technically, I should not be awarding a winner to this week’s poll. Mainly because there is no wrong answer and because I wouldn’t want to tell any one of the other three maniacs that they have lost. However, Thunder Nation has spoken and they have decided on Damon a.k.a Terry Crews from Friday after Next, White Chicks and The Longest Yard. It looks as though Terry hasn’t hit the weight room in a few years and has opted for beer and chips instead (my attempt at humor). This guy looks like he eats cows alive, does dumbbell curls with Harleys and mixes gasoline with his Coke. I think that if you attempted to shoot him in the chest, the bullet may actually bounce off. I think it is safe to say that if you ran into Terry in a dark alley he would have no problem removing your arms and beating you until you are motionless with them. Congrats Terry!

Speaking of the name Terry and speaking of huge, I haven’t seen a Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercial in a long time…enjoy.

ThunderTreats Is On The Clock

April 25, 2009

Well once again the fun of being a fan and seeing the 1st pick on draft day was spoiled by the Detroit Lions signing QB Matthew Stafford the night before the draft. Even though the photo above would make you ask yourself if you’ve ever ordered fast food off that guy, you are looking at the richest rookie in NFL history. This dude gets $72 million over 6 years with almost $42 million guaranteed for never even putting on a piece of Lion equipment. Geeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Regardless, this years draft should be filled with surprises and trades. Look for teams like the Cards, Browns, Bengals to dish out their unhappy wide receivers. Mark Sanchez’s stock is hotter than a Britney Spears crotch shot on the internet. Both Kiper and McShay changed their 3rd pick to LSU’s DE Tyson Jackson over the last 2 days. Jackson was a projected 12-16 pick before this. Inside information has leaked and spoiled this pick also. A contract has probably already been agreed on pending if a team attempts to trade up to take Sanchez. Let’s look at Kiper vs. McShay vs. THUNDERTREATS. Look for Thundertreats 09 NFL Draft Accuracy Report following the draft.

Mel “I’m a giant douche” Kiper Jr

1. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
2. St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3. Kansas City Chiefs: Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
4. Seattle Seahawks: Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forest
5. Cleveland Browns: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC (The Browns have one too many QBs as it is, have a WR thats going to be in jail, traded Winslow and Braylon wants out. Draft Sanchez???)
6. Cincinnati Bengals: Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
7. Oakland Raiders: Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
8. Jacksonville Jaguars: Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
9. Green Bay Packers: B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College
10. San Francisco 49ers: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
11. Buffalo Bills: Brian Orakpo, DE/OLB, Texas
12. Denver Broncos: Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
13. Washington Redskins: Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
14. New Orleans Saints: Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
15. Houston Texans: Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State
16. San Diego Chargers: Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi
17. New York Jets: Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
18. Denver Broncos (from CHI): Chris “Beanie” Wells, RB, Ohio State
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
20. Detroit Lions (from DAL): Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
21. Philadelphia Eagles: Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
22. Minnesota Vikings: Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
23. New England Patriots: Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut
24. Atlanta Falcons: Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
25. Miami Dolphins: Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
26. Baltimore Ravens: Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
27. Indianapolis Colts: Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi
28. Buffalo Bills (from PHI, which received from CAR): Phil Loadholt, OT, Oklahoma
29. New York Giants: Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
30. Tennessee Titans: Darius Butler, CB, Connecticut
31. Arizona Cardinals: Everette Brown, DE, Florida State
32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Max Unger, C, Oregon

Todd “I’m taking Kiper’s Job because he is a douche” McShay

1. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
2. St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3. Kansas City Chiefs: Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
4. Seattle Seahawks: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
5. Cleveland Browns: Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest
6. Cincinnati Bengals: Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
7. Oakland Raiders: Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
8. Jacksonville Jaguars: Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
9. Green Bay Packers: B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College
10. San Francisco 49ers: Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi
11. Buffalo Bills: Brian Orakpo, DE/OLB, Texas
12. Denver Broncos: Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
13. Washington Redskins: Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
14. New Orleans Saints: Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
15. Houston Texans: Aaron Maybin, DE/OLB, Penn State
16. San Diego Chargers: Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
17. New York Jets: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
18. Denver Broncos (from CHI): Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
20. Detroit Lions (from DAL): Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi
21. Philadelphia Eagles: Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
22. Minnesota Vikings: Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
23. New England Patriots: Connor Barwin, DE, Cincinnati
24. Atlanta Falcons: Alex Mack, C, Cal
25. Miami Dolphins: Darius Butler, CB, Connecticut
26. Baltimore Ravens: Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
27. Indianapolis Colts: Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
28. Buffalo Bills (from CAR through PHI): Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
29. New York Giants: Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
30. Tennessee Titans: Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
31. Arizona Cardinals: Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut
32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Max Unger, C, Oregon

THUNDERTREATS

1. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
2. St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3. Kansas City Chiefs: Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
4. Seattle Seahawks: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
5. Cleveland Browns: Micheal Crabtree, WR, TTech (Sparks Edwards Trade)
6. Cincinnati Bengals::TRADE:: Raiders give up an extra pick to move up one spot and select Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest
7. Oakland Raiders::TRADE:: Cincinnati Bengals: Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
8. Jacksonville Jaguars: Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
9. Green Bay Packers: BJ Raji, DT, BC
10. San Francisco 49ers: Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi
11. Buffalo Bills: Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas
12. Denver Broncos: Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State
13. Washington Redskins: Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
14. New Orleans Saints: Michael Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
15. Houston Texans: Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
16. San Diego Chargers:::TRADE::: Terrible Spot in the draft for the bolts. Best deal might be New England with all the picks they have. Patriots select Brandon Pettigrew, TE, OK State
17. New York Jets: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
18. Denver Broncos (from CHI): Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
20. Detroit Lions (from DAL): Ray Maualuga, ILB, USC
21. Philadelphia Eagles: Beanie Wells, RB, Ohio State
22. Minnesota Vikings: Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
23. New England Patriots::TRADE::: pick to Chargers. San Diego selects Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
24. Atlanta Falcons: Darius Butler, CB, Connecticut
25. Miami Dolphins:::TRADE:: Dolphins acquire Anquan Boldin from Arizona Cardinals. Cardinals select Darrius Heyward-Bay, WR, Maryland
26. Baltimore Ravens: Phil Loadholt, OT, Oklahoma
27. Indianapolis Colts: Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
28. Buffalo Bills (from CAR through PHI): Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
29. New York Giants::TRADE:: Giants acquire Braylon Edwards from the Cleveland Browns. Browns select Clay Matthews, LB, USC
30. Tennessee Titans: Alphonso Smith, CB, Wake Forest
31. Arizona Cardinals: Everette Brown, DE, Florida State
32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Max Unger, C, Oregon

I went out on a limb and gambled on a few of these picks but that’s what Thundertreats is all about. I’m going to stick to them instead of slicking my hair back and flopping on picks every 5 minutes throughout the draft like my nemesis Mel Kiper will do. Even if I don’t come close to any of these. The 2009 NFL Draft will be one of the most exciting and unpredictable in years. I hope Kiper craps his pants on camera.

Respect C-Town

April 21, 2009

After a long absence I have returned after serving my 4 game suspension for violating Thunder Treats substance abuse policy. Just kidding, I became a functioning member of our society (bummer right?). Since Jeb has given you everything you need to know about round 1 of the NBA playoffs I won’t waste your time with anything more then this video. Enjoy!

Carlie Beck down.

April 20, 2009

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

As I sit here at work, wondering what the hell I am going to do with myself for the remaining couple hours, I stumbled upon a story that really grinds my gears. It is of a cheerleading coach from California who was fired after it was revealed that she had posed for Playboys Cyber Girl of the Week. Carlie Beck was let go by the San Juan Unified School district after parents blew the whistle on her photo spread on Playboys website. After watching an interview with the parents and student who notified the school, I honestly think that these people were out for revenge and nothing else. They site their reasoning in the fact that the school district has a strict policy for the cheerleaders and there should not be a double standard for the coach. SUCH BULLSHIT! This girl was not allowed to join the team because she had 3 unexcused absences and her mother was mad, resulting in her finding a way to get back at the coach. Watch the above video and let me know what you think. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this girl and her mother have a vendetta against this woman. It is so blatant it is ridiculous. They have ruined someone’s career because there little angel couldn’t be a cheerleader. Carlie said that she does not regret posing for the pictures and after seeing them, I totally agree with her.

2009 NFL Draft

April 20, 2009

The 2009 NFL draft will commence this coming weekend starting Saturday at Noon. The draft provides all NFL fans with a mid spring taste of football season, which is just enough to hold us off till August when the fun begins. In my opinion, this draft is not as highly anticipated as ones in the past, mainly due to lack of huge stars at main positions. The skill positions do not possess the overall glitz and glamor depth of players that drafts in the past have had, thus leaving a lot of teams to look to bolster other key positions in the trenches and on defense. Later on this week I will finish compiling my 2009 mock NFL draft and will have an team by team in depth analysis of my projected picks. Stay tuned for more to come!

Playoff Preview: Round 1

April 17, 2009

Over the next three months, the greatest basketball players in the world are going to shower us with greatness. Come playoff time, the intensity of each game rises, coaching decisions are magnified, rotations shorten, and players define their legacies. Playoffs, baby. This postseason, I thought I’d try my hand at offering some predictions before each and every series; This way, you can all offer your own thoughts about each match up, or simply ridicule my selections. Enjoy…

CAVS/Pistons
First up for the #1 seeded Cavaliers is a bout with their arch-nemesis, the Detroit Pistons. My, it’s truly incredible how far the Pistons have fallen in just a season. After spending six straight post-seasons in the Eastern Conference Finals, Detroit decided to swap Chauncey Billups for Allen Iverson, and it quickly became clear that Billups was the glue holding the entire team together. After being a mainstay near the top of the East standings, the Pistons dropped to the #8 seed and 4 games below .500 on the season. The Cavs won the season series 3-1.

Despite all of the classic battles that have been waged between these two teams in the LeBron-era, this match up does not really concern me as a Cavs fan. The Pistons are clearly a shell of their former great rosters, and the Cavs are much better on both the offensive and defensive ends of the floor. I believe the key to this series will be the bench play from both teams. The Cavs have arguably the deepest bench in the Eastern Conference, as having the likes of Wally, Boobie Gibson, Sasha Pavlovic and Joe Smith will prove to be too much for the Pistons’ bench to maintain. The Cavs are also helpful that Ben Wallace will be able to suit up for game 1 Saturday afternoon, and this will only add to the team’s depth and defensive presence. Will Bynum and Aaron Afflalo, Detroit will have problems sustaining energy and the effort level that Cleveland will bring. Simply put, LeBron and Co. will be able to simply impose their will during crunch time, as this Detroit team has a habit of folding under adversity when things begin to turn against them.

Still, despite all their shortcomings, Detroit is a savvy, veteran bunch. I feel that the Cavs will smack them around pretty good in games 1 and 2, and then I will be slightly concerned about game 3 at the Palace. I don’t have much doubt about the Cavs winning, but won’t be surprised to see them come up just short in one of the games at Detroit.
Prediction: Cavs in 5

Celtics/Bulls
The news today that Kevin Garnett’s knee injury is much more serious than originally thought certainly sent shock waves around the league. Hell, it even gave Danny Ainge a heart attack! But Danny should take it easy, as I still feel that Pierce and Allen will be too much for the inconsistent Bulls. Having seen them play many times this season, Chicago lacks the consistent inside play, and would need a monster series from Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah to pull off the upset, even despite KG’s absence. Still, Chicago will be a difficult out.
Prediction: Celtics in 6

Magic/Sixers
On paper, this series certainly seems like a complete mismatch. The off-season signing of Elton Brand didn’t pay off at all for Philly, and the Magic can flat out stroke it from anywhere on the court. But when you try to take that part of their game away, they feed it inside to Dwight Howard (which they should do more often). Orlando is nursing a couple injuries to Lewis and Turkoglu, but when healthy they are very, very good. Tough not to like the Magic here.
Prediction: Magic in 5

Hawks/Heat
This might end up being the most hotly-contested and closest first-round match up in the East. Atlanta has been laying in the weeds all season by virtue of being behind the East’s top 3, but they are underrated. For Miami, D-Wade is phenomenal. When he’s on the court and healthy, no team is going to enjoy seeing Miami on the other side of the court. I see this almost as a coin-flip, with the nod going to the Hawks and home-court advantage.
Prediction: Hawks in 7

Lakers/Jazz
Switching over to the Western Conference, we begin with Kobe and the dominant Lakers. They’ll be squaring off with Utah, where Deron Williams will try to keep Utah afloat. While I don’t see the Lakers having nearly the easy path to the finals as some experts, I don’t think they will do much fooling around in the first round.
Prediction: Lakers in 5

Nuggets/Hornets
I’m really looking forward to Chauncey and Chris Paul dueling it out in what promises to be a high-scoring, entertaining series. Denver has been one of the hottest teams in the NBA over the last several weeks, and that enabled them to climb into the #2 seed behind L.A. Can Carmelo finally have some meaningful games in the playoffs? This certainly is his best chance yet.
Prediction: Nuggets in 6

Spurs/Mavericks
Trying to pick a winner in this series pretty tough. The Spurs really seem to be on their last legs, and age is certainly starting to affect them greatly. However, their slow tempo really is made for the post-season, and they clearly have the track record of being able to thrive under the bright lights of the playoffs. Dallas, on the other hand, probably feels like they have a great chance to pull off the first round upset. Dirk Nowitzki can still score with the best of ’em, Jason Kidd is still a triple-double threat, and Jason Terry might win the NBA sixth man of the year award. This sure seems like it has game 7 written all over it. And with that, I’ll take the team that’s been there before, and who also has the home court in that game. I’ve got this one penciled as the best series of the first round.
Prediction: Spurs in 7

Trail Blazers vs. Rockets
I’ve been telling anyone who would listen over the last month or two that these are the two teams that have the best chance to deter the Lakers on their path to the NBA Finals. Unfortunately, they couldn’t get away from each other, and will face off in the West’s 4-5 match up. Houston’s size with Yao in the middle is tough for any team to handle, and having Ron Artest to match up with the opposing teams’ best player is also a nice asset. For Portland, Brandon Roy is incredible. They are also extremely tough to beat at the Rose Garden, where the home court happens to reside. Another tough call, but Portland has been simply too hot down the stretch, and I think the momentum will carry over in the playoffs.
Prediction: Trail Blazers in 7

34

April 13, 2009

The 2009 MLB Season took off with a rocky start by losing a 22 year old rookie pitcher from the Los Angeles Angels. Nick Adenhart, along with two of his friends, were hit by a drunk driver early Thursday morning. Our thought and prayers go out to his friends, family and teammates.

Week 1 of the 2009 MLB season has just came to an end. The current standings for ThunderTreats writer’s picks are..

Jack Potts (Dodgers) 4-3
Patrick C (Cubs) 4-2
Sir Dubz (Angels) 3-3
Dilo (Angels) 3-3
Louie D (Angels) 3-3
So Cal (Mets) 3-3
Sahli (Yankees) 3-3
Jeb (Indians) 1-5

So far, our picks have defined mediocrity. The Yankees are off to a slow start without Arod in the lineup and failing to take CC’s diet down to 4 boxes of HoHos a day instead of the usual baker’s dozen. Nick Swisher has proven to be the best off-season acquisition so far by the Yanks batting .471 with 9 Rbis. The Angels started off the season with 6 straight home games taking half of them (2-1 against the BoSox). But we can give them some credit for all of them trying to fight Josh Beckett at the same time. The Cubbies look pretty tough so far. Soriano is showing off his power this year (Juice?). Their main worry this year should be closing out games and their bullpen with both losses coming by 1 run. The M-E-T Mets Mets Mets are looking at some serious competition this year in the NL East with Atlanta and Florida shining early. Pitching and keeping that team healthy will decide this teams fate. Is Cliff Lee on the cover of Madden this year? The Indians have given up 51 runs in 6 games this season. They need to fix something soon or Cleveland sports fans may go on strike after watching Lebron choke this postseason and transition into baseball season in last place.

The Price is Retarded…

April 11, 2009

One Shining Cougar…

April 7, 2009


It has been a wild three week ride that I am sure no one wants to end, but as the saying goes “all good things must come to an end.” With that being said, we here at Thunder Treats would like eveyone to join us in congratulating Mary Louise Parker on her biggest win of the tournament. Early on and most of today, the votes were swaying back and forth between her and opponent Diane Lane, but as it came down to the wire, MLP started to sprint towards the finish. Diane Lane was a very good candidate and should be remembered for the wildfire she spread not only in her region, but in the tourney as well. Thanks to all the people who followed our tournament and thank you to all the websites and blogs that picked up on it as well. Keep coming back to Thunder Treats in the future as we will be redesigning the website and bumping our street cred up a notch or two. Congrats again to Mary Louise Parker and a hat tip goes to Diane Lane who fought a tough battle.

2009 Thunder Treats Cougar Madness Champion

Cougar Madness Finals…and San Diego

April 6, 2009


After an exciting Saturday of games we have our very own championship to look forward to. Diane Lane continued her streak by knocking off #1 seed Jenifer Aniston by a substantial amount of votes. Mary Louise Parker also continued to dominate the dance by taking down crowd favorite Halle Berry. There are now no more #1 seeds left in the Cougar Madness Tournament. Instead we have a 4 seed versus a 10 seed. Cinderella doesn’t even begin to describe what kind of run Diane Lane is on. A dark horse of sorts, maybe she was overlooked by the selection committee when they placed her as a 10. Oh well, shit happens. Look for the winner of the 2009 Cougar Madness Tournament to be crowned on Monday after the Tar Heels get another banner.

In other news…

I, against my better judgment, ended up in So Cal this weekend. San Diego’s Mission Beach to be precise. I, along with Zach Attack, drove down Friday after work to hang out with the So Cal Shredder himself. Since some people might not want their names on the website and I am too lazy to ask permission I will be using pseudo names that I have come up with. So we went to visit So Cal Shredder, Milk Thistle, Stupid and The Air Up There. When we got there Milk Thistle and I agreed that a good way to start the trip would be to do a Bam Bam Puke N’ Rally. For those of you who don’t know, our friend Sean Bammer came up with this game for use in situations that need bumped up a level or two. Here’s how it works; everyone stands in a circle and shotguns beers until everyone throws up, Then you shotgun one more. That’s it. Everybody wins, nobody loses. I suggest a BBPR anytime you don’t actually have the time to pre-game. The bar was cool that night and I added a little comedy by ball tapping Milk Thistle and laughed as he was reduced to one knee. After the stomach ache passed he promptly punched me in the face. Square in the face. Worth it. I had actually completely forgot about it until Milk Thistle was complaining about his hand hurting the next day. This is how that conversation went:

“ah man, my hand hurts. Did I punch something last night?”
“No, nothing I can think of. Did you like hit a door or something?”
“I don’t know, but it hurts…By the way, thanks for the ball tap last night.”
“haha, ya I got you good huh…wait…YOU punched ME in the face last night, that’s why your hand hurts ass”
“oh ya that’s right, caught you right in your teeth.”

The following day some of the guys went to the beach while I layed around and watched the first disc of Friday Night Lights. Because of that, from now on I will be calling people by their old sports numbers. Therefore, Zach Attack is now just 4. 4, Air Up There and Stupid all got some serious sunburns because of lack of sunscreen and intelligence, so I didn’t feel too bad about being lazy. That afternoon was spent at Boardwalk Bar and Grille watching the basketball games and spitting game at 19 year old girls. For the record, we did not know they were that young and for the record So Cal Shredder didn’t care either way. After 6 hours at the bar we decided to go home and change and go to Guava Beach bar…exactly 10 feet from the previous bar. While there, The Air Up There trailed off to a different bar where, apparently, they had free penis examinations in the bathroom to which he got a hands on inspection. Did I lose you? He got an HJ. We played Wii Bowling and drank beahs (beers with a Boston accent) and I am fairly certain that anyone can beat me in that game…Well, maybe not the guy that was passed out on the couch dressed, head to toe, like a member of Shredder’s Foot Clan. Swear to God. I almost died that night when I woke up and freaked out because I had somehow gotten myself wedged between a half inflated air mattress and the wall. Stupid described my snoring by saying that it sounded like someone had both hands around my neck and were going for a choke out. Sunday morning consisted of watching Role Models…twice… while listening to The Air Up There whine. I am not sure what he was whining about more, how bad his sunburn hurt or how it felt as though his “hands on penis inspection” was done with grade 60 sandpaper. We finished off our mini vacation by going to Phil’s BBQ so The Air Up There could get his pork pulled for the second time in one weekend. Some of the best BBQ I have ever had. Think Sweet Baby Rays (“the sauce is the boss”) on HGH if that’s possible. Now it is just 4 and I on our way back to boring old Vegas. We are somewhere in the middle of San Bernardino and 4 has been yelling at drivers and “the bitch” who gives directions too fast…aka his GPS.

Fun Fact: When intoxicated, 4 told his girl that the GPS had a sexier voice than her…Sorry for partying.