Archive for the ‘Brandon Spikes’ Category

How Bout Dem Cowboys???

November 5, 2009

Before I begin my disgruntled rants about the 2009 Dallas Cowboy season, I would like to state that I am a lifetime Cowboys fan and have enjoyed many seasons of their cheerleaders shaking their sweater puppies for millions of fans. Jerry Jones and the crew have caused me enough mental anguish to make me feel like a Browns fan. Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome Roy Williams to my Cowboys Hate list. It now includes 2 people.

1)Barbie Carpenter
2)Roy “Mickey Mouse/Hamburger Helper Hands” Williams

I’ll begin by reciprocating my hate for Barbie Carpenter. He is still thee most worthless person to put on an NFL football uniform. It still baffles me that he was a first round pick. There are a handful of kickers that have more career tackles than him. I could only wish for Brandon Spikes to gouge his eyes out. If I were Jerry Jones, I would trade him for any of these 1st round blunders; Rick Mirer, Tim Couch, Ryan Leaf, Akili Smith, Ki-Jana Carter, or Jim Drunkenmiller. I would also start all of them at linebacker over Carpenter. Barbie Carpenter is a disgrace to the Dallas Cowboys.

Onto Roy Williams Jr situation. Why, oh why, did you trade anything above a 5th round pick for this joke of a receiver whose career peaked in 2006 with 82 receptions? The Cowboys then cut Hall of Famer Terrell Owens in the off-season to avoid more distractions to the team. Well Jerry Jones, way to go D-Bag. You threw away a HOF’er, a pile a picks, and got a loud mouth-babybitch-good for nothing receiver in return. Roy has recently whined about not getting the ball which I believe is just a hissy fit because Miles Austin is having a breakout season. Tony Romo has revived his season with the last two games and has decided to take the high road with the media and stood up for his team instead of bashing Williams like he deserves. So I will take it upon myself to respond instead of Romo.


You should invest in a clown nose because you should just look absolutely ridiculous instead of pathetic. You could easily be replaced with any kid off the short bus with a jersey and 2 white oven mitts. Not only would that kid out perform you, I guarantee he can count better than you because you are not a #1 receiver. Unless Tony Romo throws you an underhand pass to the center of your chest, you are not catching anything. You are the #4 receiver. You wouldn’t be a #1 receiver on any other NFL team besides the Rams. Starting as #1 for the Browns would be a punishment to their fans. All I heard from your comments was Whaaaaaaaaa Whaaaaaaaa Whaaaaaaa he’s thowing it bad to me Whaaaaa Whaaaaa Whaaaa. Ya that makes a lot of sense for a QB with an incentive based contract to not complete more passes, idiot.

“I am stretching and falling out there”-RW

You sure are. You look like an autistic kid lost in the grocery store when you are out on the field. You aren’t fast. You don’t run routes well. You lead the team in drops. You can’t catch a ball with your hands. You are about as physical as Barbie Carpenter. Do you really have to publicly make comments about why you aren’t being targeted??? The nation is pointing out your weaknesses. My advice is to shut your hambuger helper hole, have your agent start looking for a new team for 2010 and start buying your clothes at Wal-Mart because you are getting cut at the end of the season and taking a MAJOR pay cut. I hope you land on the Raiders roster so Tom Cable could punch you in your clown nose.

Love Always,


Despite the Cowboys team problems, they are at the Top of the NFC East with a 5-2 record and are on a roll. This team is a lot better than people have given them credit for. Both of their losses are in Romo’s back pocket but he has made adjustments since then. I can only help that their team leaders can get it together before they look like this.

Enemy of The Month: Brandon Spikes

November 2, 2009

I thought it was going to be a tough decision to find an enemy for the month of November, but thanks to Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes we can all rest easy. During a pile up in the Georgia vs. Florida rivalry game, Spikes went for some extra credit by attempting to eye gouge Georgia running back Washaun Ealey. Although Spikes was not flagged for the unsportsmanlike move, the video evidence makes a pretty, pretty, pretty strong case. Coach Urban Meyer seemed to be unaware of the incident but said if it proves to be true he will be having a “very serious talk” with him. The SEC has not made a motion on the situation yet, but I hope they do act on it soon. The minimum penalty for Spikes’ actions should be at least a 1-game suspension.
The reason I am suggesting that is because of a similar situation from 2003 when Ohio State linebacker Robert Reynolds went a little overboard and jammed his fingers into the throat of then Wisconsin quarterback, Jim Sorgi. Reynolds, like Spikes, was not flagged for this. Reynolds actions resulted in a one game suspension that was handed out by head coach Jim Tressel, not the Big Ten. However, the Big Ten did step in and suspend Ohio State’s senior safety Kurt Coleman for 1 game for “initiating helmet-to-helmet contact and targeting a defenseless opponent.” Let’s hope the SEC sees the footage above and does the right thing. If not, we will have to wait and see if Urban Meyer will impose a penalty on Spikes or if he thinks a “real serious talk” is punishment enough. Either way Brandon, we here at Thunder Treats now proclaim you a giant douche bag. Congratulations on your new title.

UPDATE 11/2/2009 9:36 AM PT

Urban Meyer has suspended Brandon Spikes for the first half of Saturday’s game against Vanderbilt. He says that Spikes was retaliating from an earlier incident during the game where his eye was gouged. I guess 2 wrongs make a right at Florida. This suspension is a JOKE.