Archive for the ‘Cleveland Browns’ Category

Browns to Join the Mid American Conference

November 17, 2009

Obviously that’s a joke; it’s just not as funny of a joke as the Browns last night and to be honest, they might have trouble with Temple. Last night, I dreaded watching Monday Night Football for the first time in a long time. I live in Las Vegas and don’t have to watch the Browns get their shit kicked in, week in and week out. Although, like all Browns fans, I held out hope of maybe seeing an upset like last year during Monday Night Football when they upended the then defending World Champion New York Football Giants. With each game I watch or read about, it seems like games like that fade even faster in my memory. Last night was no exception.

The game started out well, but then evened out after the first play. Jamal Lewis had a nice 12 yard run and that was about all I saw of our offense. Brady Quinn had a passer rating lower than most of Thunder Treats authors ACT scores yet it was still somehow better than Derek Anderson’s. had their box score for the game and on the right hand column had each teams “top performers”. As you can see from the photo above, Cribbs had a less than stellar outing, yet they thought he was the top performer. Personally I would have said Furrey with his 6 receptions for 30 yards, but that really isn’t all that impressive either. The Ravens defense smothered the Browns and, to their credit, the Browns defense did well again Joe Flacco and Company. Now, if we could only get them to do it for the entire game, we might actually get a W. That is assuming we can move the ball offensively. The first half ended in a 0-0 tie. For those of you who aren’t Browns fans, that’s actually like winning, so naturally I was pumped to be “up” at the half.

In the second half we saw the Ravens score twice in 17 seconds. Only in Cleveland. I have seen so much shit in my days as a Cleveland fan (all things Cleveland, not just the Browns) that I did not even flinch at the pick 6. How terrible is that? I feel bad, but it is the truth. I read somewhere today that people think last years 0-16 Lions would mop the floor with this years Cleveland squad and ya know what, I’m not sure they are wrong. I would watch next weeks game against Detroit except I am almost positive they won’t even send a camera crew. Again though, I will probably get my hopes up of another miraculous victory only to get stomped on. And yes, a win over Detroit would be miraculous.

The biggest problem I have right now is not with Randy Lerner (shocking) but with Eric Mangini or whoever decided it was a swell idea to run a hook and ladder on the last play of the game. When you are down 16-0 with 4 ticks left on the clock, do yourself a favor and kneel the ball or just run it up the gut. If you are down by 8 or less, then maybe you think about running a trick play to try to win it. The reason you do not run a trick play when it is irrelevant is to avoid injury because most of the trick plays are free for alls and there are people flying everywhere. Case in point last night when Joshua Cribbs had to be immobilized, put on a stretcher and carted off the field after receiving a bone crushing hit during Cleveland’s unbelievably bad play call. The “good” news is that it’s “just” a concussion. Cribbs was taken to the hospital for evaluation and had movement in all parts of his body, thank goodness. Now, our best player and one of the most dangerous return men in football is laid up because we were trying to get our 6th touchdown in 15 games. Unfortunately, that is a fact and not a joke.

I will continue to watch, no matter how painful it is, but I have to say that I think someone needs to remind Randy Lerner that he owns a football team. Also, I think we need to remind Eric Mangini that he is not, nor was he ever, the GM of this football team. Lastly, if you wait to hire a GM until seasons end, how about hiring him before the new head coach? Maybe you can get really wild and get his input on the matter and maybe even let him have a suggestion? Just a thought…

Top 10 Replacements for George Kokinis

November 3, 2009

With the recent news of the Cleveland Browns GM firing, Thunder Treats decided to put together a list of the top 10 choices to replace George Kokinis. This list isn’t a compilation of the best choices out there but simply a list of people who we think would do a better job…

10.) Morris Buttermaker
Buttermaker is already an alcoholic, so we don’t have to worry about driving him to drink.

9.) Danny O’Shea
Sure, his big brother Kevin knows a lot more than him, but it’s not in the style of the Browns to make the smart decision.

8.) Rachel Phelps
THE biggest bitch in Cleveland sports history. She lit a fire under the asses of the Indians…maybe she can do it for the Browns?

7.) Radio
Is he mentally challenged? Yes. Does he like football? Yes. Those seem to be 2 common characteristics sought out when Randy Lerner is looking for a GM.

6.) Phil Savage
Sure, we wanted to cut his head off, but it’s not like he could make things worse.

5.) Rush Limbaugh
Maybe if we got a high profile GM people wouldn’t notice just how bad we are?

4.) Tom Cable
Hey Derek Anderson, next time your QB rating is too low Coach Cable is coming to punch your mom, grandma and any other woman in your life.

3.) Al Davis
He loves to make stupid decisions, he would fit in great in Cleveland. If hired, please make sure “AD” patches are ready for the jerseys…its only a matter of time.

2.) Matt Millen
Im pretty sure that Matt Millen can’t suck much more than he has already. Bring him to Cleveland…seriously, what more could he do?

1.) Art Modell
The most hated man in Cleveland. Put him in the same category as Rachel Phelps, but you know what he has? A Super Bowl ring…we have to make sacrifices.

Browns GM George Kokinis Fired – Updated 11/2 8:09 PM PT

November 3, 2009

Just when we thought it couldn’t get much worse for Browns fans, GM George Kokinis has been escorted out of the facilities in Berea, Ohio. Reports coming in via twitter from WKYC in Cleveland as well as from the Cleveland Leader are confirming that George Kokinis is no longer the GM for the Cleveland Browns. Kokinis was hired from the Baltimore Ravens organization and had been with the Browns during Bill Belichick’s reign. He was let go sometime this afternoon. A replacement has not yet been named. If I were you Mangini, I would be watching your step.

This recent news brings back memories from last season when everyone was calling for the head of Romeo Crennel. RAC, as he was referred to by his players, loved nothing more than field goals. Unfortunately with a defense with more holes than swiss cheese, field goals will not cut it. Even if you do have Awesome Phil Dawson as your kicker. I remember a young Jack Potts expressing his discontent with the management of the Browns when he wrote a letter to Mr. Randy Lerner. Said letter can be found here. I encourage everyone to read it. It will remind us to be careful what we wish for. Perhaps, Mr. Potts, you should have asked nicely to run the draft yourself as I am supremely confident you could have done a better job. I have a feeling there will be another letter to Randy from you, I just hope we ask for something better this year…

UPDATE: Browns release statement regarding Kokinis:

“Cleveland Browns General Manager George Kokinis is no longer actively involved with the organization. In response to rumors and reports that Kokinis was escorted out of the building today, the Browns deny those reports. In the interest of protecting the parties involved we will withhold further comment.”

SOURCE: The Orange and Brown Report

Justice in Cleveland.

October 27, 2009

Cleveland, OH (AP) – A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Cuyahoga County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Cleveland Browns, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Thank God it’s basketball season!

Dolphins Interested in Josh Cribbs?

October 16, 2009

Earlier today, Carlos “Big C” Holmes reported that the Miami Dolphins are interested in Cleveland Browns receiver/return man Josh Cribbs. Yikes. Just for a minute, sit back and think about Cribbs installed in the Dolphins Wildcat offense. Woah. For those of you who do not remember or do not know, Cribbs was an absolute beast in college where he was QB1 for Kent State University. It is widely known that Cribbs has been unhappy with his current contract and has been relying on a good faith promise from Randy Lerner to adjust it soon. In fact, that would be the big reason the Browns wouldn’t be interested in unloading Cribbs because they have one of the best return men in the league and are paying him pennies (in NFL dollars, not me and you dollars). The Fins aren’t the only team lining up for the possibility of Cribbs’ services. Reportedly the Colts, Chiefs, Raiders, Jags and 49ers are all interested too. In order for any kind of trade talks to actually move forward with the Dolphins, they would probably need to offer up Ted Ginn Jr. and at least one pick albeit a first or second round. With recent news of Brady Quinn’s house going up for sale and the recent departure of Braylon Edwards, many people are wondering just what in the hell Kokonis and Mangini are thinking and whether or not they actually have a plan. Although Quinn claims he put his house on the market because he wanted to “downsize and move closer to shorten his commute”…Ya friggin’ right. I guess all we can do is now is sit back and let the “professionals” do their job…great track record thus far.

Brady Quinn’s House For Sale

October 14, 2009

The pot is being stirred in Cleveland once again as it has come out that Brady Quinn has put his house in Avon Lake up for sale. The house, owned by Braydon Tyler Quinn, is listed at $775,000. This all coming after Quinn started the first 3 games of the season and was benched at halftime against the Ravens in favor of the less than stellar Derek Anderson. Head Coach Eric Mangini has stated that Derek Anderson will start despite completing only 2 passes in the 6-3 win over Buffalo. All these signs point to Brady Quinn being traded before the October 20th deadline. My guess his that Mangenious continues his pattern and sends him to the Jets. Kidding. I don’t know where he’ll end up but he needs to go to a place where they won’t jerk him around and waste more of his career. Whatever happens to the kid, I really wish the best of luck to him. He has been crapped on ever since draft day. Here’s hoping that he doesn’t take his “Brady’s Ladies” along with him in his travels…

UPDATE 10/14 9:03 am PST:
According to the Browns will NOT be moving Quinn before the trade deadline.

“We’re not looking to move Brady Quinn,” Mangini said Wednesday. “Brady is
a Cleveland Brown and that’s not anything we’re looking to do.”

Thunder Links

August 3, 2009

These Links bring the Thunder…

Tiger Woods Enjoys a Good Fart [Awful Announcing]
People Face Planting on Bikes [Holy Taco]
Baseball + Beer = Awesome [More Hardball]
Green Bay’s Training Camp will Proceed Without a Tweet [No Guts, No Glory]
Jessica Alba is trying to Win Me Back [Sharapova’s Thigh]
Browns Keeping Quinn and Anderson? [Fan Nation]
The Peavy Incident [Rumors and Rants]
Did Percy Harvin Keep it Real? [Sparty and Friends]
The 10 Most Embarrassing Moments in White People Dancing History [Manofest]
Jake Brown Does Not Fear Death [Friends of the Program]
Uhhhhhh This is Pretty Terrible Sex Bait [Blog of Hilarity]

July 30, 2009

These Links bring the Thunder…

Women in Love with a Roller Coaster. Literally. [Blog of Hilarity]
Listomania [Friends of the Program]
Megan Fox is a Genius [Manofest]
Name to Know: Fu-Te Nu [More Hardball]
No Triple Crown for Pittsburgh [Sharapova’s Thigh]
Martinez to Red Sox or Rays? [Fan Nation]
Hey! Move that F’in Thing: A Gallery [Holy Taco]
The Bakers NFL Preview: The Cleveland Browns [Rumors and Rants]
Two Odd Couple Mash Ups for Your Listening Entertainment [Bro Bible]
I Never Knew That the Phillies and Indians Were the Same Team [No Guts, No Glory]
Jay Mariotti Makes Kids Cry [Awful Announcing]
Braylon Update (And More Brown Bitches!) [Cleveland Frowns]