Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

NFL Week 12 Pick Em

November 26, 2009

Good Morning to our East Coast followers, and a Happy Thanksgiving Eve to our folks on Pacific time. As always, we here at Thunder Treats would like to wish everyone out there a happy thanksgiving. With Thanksgiving here that can only mean 1 thing: Madden’s famous TURDUCKEN!
Due to some technical difficulties, I will have to post the results from last week some time tomorrow barring anymore laptop issues. As with every Thanksgiving, we have our Thursday slate of games featuring the Green Bay Packers traveling to face the Detroit Lions. The 415 kickoff pits the Oakland Raiders traveling to Jerry’s world to face the Dallas Cowboys. Finally at 815 EST the NY Giants travel to the mile high city (which I highly recommend traveling to visit) to face the Denver Broncos. For this week’s Thursday games, it is an across the board unanimous selection of teams. All 5 of us picked the Green Bay Packers, the Dallas Cowboys, and the NY football Giants. Again, Happy Thanksgiving to all of our Thunder Treats nation!

NFL Pick em Week 10 Results

November 19, 2009

Another week of NFL Football is in the books and another week we have Dubz picking worse than a school girl. A the top we have DiLo who is looking to make a run at Sahli’s very impressive streak. Jeb is right on his coat tails. DiLo was wise enough to pick the Bengals over the Steelers because he knows how much of a complete team the Bengals are and how much the Steelers are overrated. Obviously I am kidding, I just want to piss Dubz off because I am doing his job. Sahli and Jeb both had games where they picked the only winners as well. DiLo was one game off the best ESPN analyst at 10-5. I believe that Dubz might have the best chance to be an ESPN analyst because they pick like shit and so does he. We’ll see how many more times I have to write this post…Here is the ESPN “Experts” picks from week 10.

Larry Johnson to Sign with the Bengals

November 16, 2009

I certainly thought it might take teams a little longer to pick up Larry Johnson, but if I had to guess which team would be the first to take a swipe at him it would have been the Bengal’s. It really isn’t surprising since their back on top running back Cedric Benson was injured on Sunday against the Steelers. He is supposedly en route to the Cincy right now. He is also expected to sign sometime today barring any breakdowns in talks. So, to be clear, as long as Larry doesn’t open his mouth he should be a Bengal by sunset. I would tell him to stay away from Twitter and any other means of speaking his mind as it hasn’t helped much in the past. The Bengals have said that Benson will be able to go this Sunday when they play the NFL’s version of a high school team in the Oakland Raiders. If they can add Johnson to the roster they might as well let Ced rest this week…hell, they might as well rest all the starters this week.

Head to Pro Football Talk for the full story and latest coverage.

Panther’s Wesley Delivers Flying Shoulder

October 19, 2009

On Sunday the struggling Buccaneers got kicked while they were down. The kicker in this situation would be Dante Wesley from the Carolina Panthers. Towards the end of the first half, Carolina punted away to the Buccaneers Clifton Smith. Smith got absolutely punished by Wesley who came in with a flying shoulder. The hit left Smith, who sustained a concussion, lying on the field while his teammates rushed the field in his defense. The Charlotte Observer says that Clifton Smith never signaled for fair catch. If he did not signal, then he has to be prepared to get hit…once he catches the ball. The reason this hit is dirty is because the ball isn’t even close to Smith when he gets laid out. Obviously Wesley is saying he didn’t mean to do it and maybe he didn’t, but the fact remains that the NFL has to protect its players. In this case, that may be a hefty fine and possible suspension for Dante Wesley.

Dolphins Interested in Josh Cribbs?

October 16, 2009

Earlier today, Carlos “Big C” Holmes reported that the Miami Dolphins are interested in Cleveland Browns receiver/return man Josh Cribbs. Yikes. Just for a minute, sit back and think about Cribbs installed in the Dolphins Wildcat offense. Woah. For those of you who do not remember or do not know, Cribbs was an absolute beast in college where he was QB1 for Kent State University. It is widely known that Cribbs has been unhappy with his current contract and has been relying on a good faith promise from Randy Lerner to adjust it soon. In fact, that would be the big reason the Browns wouldn’t be interested in unloading Cribbs because they have one of the best return men in the league and are paying him pennies (in NFL dollars, not me and you dollars). The Fins aren’t the only team lining up for the possibility of Cribbs’ services. Reportedly the Colts, Chiefs, Raiders, Jags and 49ers are all interested too. In order for any kind of trade talks to actually move forward with the Dolphins, they would probably need to offer up Ted Ginn Jr. and at least one pick albeit a first or second round. With recent news of Brady Quinn’s house going up for sale and the recent departure of Braylon Edwards, many people are wondering just what in the hell Kokonis and Mangini are thinking and whether or not they actually have a plan. Although Quinn claims he put his house on the market because he wanted to “downsize and move closer to shorten his commute”…Ya friggin’ right. I guess all we can do is now is sit back and let the “professionals” do their job…great track record thus far.

Brady Quinn’s House For Sale

October 14, 2009

The pot is being stirred in Cleveland once again as it has come out that Brady Quinn has put his house in Avon Lake up for sale. The house, owned by Braydon Tyler Quinn, is listed at $775,000. This all coming after Quinn started the first 3 games of the season and was benched at halftime against the Ravens in favor of the less than stellar Derek Anderson. Head Coach Eric Mangini has stated that Derek Anderson will start despite completing only 2 passes in the 6-3 win over Buffalo. All these signs point to Brady Quinn being traded before the October 20th deadline. My guess his that Mangenious continues his pattern and sends him to the Jets. Kidding. I don’t know where he’ll end up but he needs to go to a place where they won’t jerk him around and waste more of his career. Whatever happens to the kid, I really wish the best of luck to him. He has been crapped on ever since draft day. Here’s hoping that he doesn’t take his “Brady’s Ladies” along with him in his travels…

UPDATE 10/14 9:03 am PST:
According to the Browns will NOT be moving Quinn before the trade deadline.

“We’re not looking to move Brady Quinn,” Mangini said Wednesday. “Brady is
a Cleveland Brown and that’s not anything we’re looking to do.”

1st Quarter NFL Season Recap

October 8, 2009

Going off of ESPN’s Week 5 Power Rankings, here is my 1st quarter NFL season recap.

1. Colts (4-0) Marvin Harrison Who? There is a reason why Peyton is the face of the NFL. Hardest working player in all of sports. Family Reunion Feb. 7?

2. G-Men (4-0) Chalk Tony Romo up for 1 win. Health is the concern for this team. Cowboys blew their chances at competing for the division. Eli’s injury could linger if not given rest. Turning into his brother right in front of our eyes.

3. Vikes (4-0) Note to Self: When 40 years old, buy wrangler jeans and wear them 24/7. Favre is playin his old balls off but some serious tests ahead. 4-0 with 3 gimme games left. Pound it with AP and stay healthy and they walk into the playoffs. When in doubt run the Wrangler Fade route.

4. Saints (4-0) The offense have been solid for a while. Threats all over the field and Brees is playing with a fire in his eyes. Defense showed up to play this season. Darren Sharper biggest team changing acquisition in the NFL this year. Immediate impact, leadership and experience to boot. But can they survive the playoffs??

5. J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets (3-1) Surprise Surprise. The Jets can play…for now. Sanchez showed he was a rookie this past week. My thoughts are that he’s not done acting like a rookie. Defense will keep them in plenty of games but defensive schemes will be designed to confuse this inexperienced wonder boy. NY will compete for wild card, Pats will run away with the division.

6. Pats (3-1) Mr. Gisele Bundchen is back. They needed to lose to the Jets to realize they wont walk back into the rhythm of 2007. Pats will continue to gain momentum. Welker and Moss are both good for 90+ receptions this year. Real threat for AFC Champions.

7. Dirty Birds (3-1) With the Steelers hiccups, Ravens are out to claim the AFC North. They are playing like it too. Hanging in the game against Brady-AT HOME-tough sh*t. Baltimore is LEGIT.

8. Broncos (4-0) Too much credit, too early. Romo handed them a win and a fluke bounce got them past Cinci. Were outplayed in both games. Then the Browns and Raiders?? What a JOKE. Season will end up in a Brokeback Mountian for these buckin Broncos. WILL LOSE THE NEXT 4 GAMES!!! Bolts take the division and Denver has no chance of claiming the wild card.

9. Falcons (2-1) Tony Gonzalez is the missing link for their young quarterback. Roddy White has big play written all over him. Will be hard to take the division away from the Saints, but my prediction for Wild Card.

10. Eagles (2-1) McNabb and Westbrook aren’t young anymore and can’t fight off these injuries. Vick can be a weapon; Andy Reid needs to turn him loose. G-MEN and Cowboys will end up on top of this division.

11. Bengals (3-1) Child Please. Kiss The Baby. Shut the Front Door. HBO helped Ochocinco get his camera time before the season started. Carson Palmer is showing how much of a leader he is. Esteban is putting his time in the film room and backing up his antics, but give Carson some credit for that as a full-time babysitter and pushing him to put in the extra time. This team is not quite there. Just a few missing pieces. Two more seasons and they can compete. Showing their potential this season.

12. 49ers (3-1) If Michael Crabtree wasn’t a greedy douche, a 4-0 record is possible. Singletary can pull his pants down all he wants. This team is making the playoffs. I hope Crabtree’s contract includes hooked on phonics and a definition of humble. Holding out for months because of millions and millions of dollars and being greedy is not being humble… T.O. jr? Shut the front door Crabtree.

13. Pack Attack (2-2) Brett Favre Jr. looks comfortable running that offense. Putting up some serious points thus far.

14. Daaaa Bears (3-1) OVER RATED. Sh*ttsburgh let that game slip away. Brett Favre Jr. took care of business then they beat two scrub teams. 21 Points in the first half to the LIONS! OVER RATED. Have a few cupcake games but won’t amount to anything this season.

15. Steelers (2-2) 4th quarter=Sh*ttsbugh. Can be a major problem with this tough divison. So how bout you stop d*cking around with WWE and learn how to close out games and cover the f*cking spread.

16. Bolts (2-2) Sproles is a threat to take it to the house every time he touches the ball. But where’s LT??? SD will need some production from here to turn this season around. Mediocre won’t win the AFC.

17. Cboys (2-2) The curse of Jessica Simpson. Romo gave 2 games away already. Expect him to do it atleast 4 more times like a d*ck. Roy Williams found out that he was able to catch a ball with his hands and was as shocked as I was. G-Men will take the divison. Thunder (Barber) and Lightning (Fjones) will win the wild card. Hopefully Tony Romo can find a way to get injured before the playoffs start. Dear Bobby Carpenter, you are the worst football player on the planet. You were a 1st round pick, you have 60 career tackles including special teams. David Akers has 84 career tackles. You are a B*tch. Stop bein a p*ssy and hit somebody already.

18. Jags (2-2) MoJo Baby. Tons of fight in this team. Need to keep it up to take the wild card.

19. Cards (1-3) Dear Kurt Warner, go buy Wrangler jeans and a buy a tv from Sears. 49ers steal the division this year.

20. Texans (2-2) Much better team than they are getting credit for. Schaub does look like he rode the short bus all his life but he is a winner. Andre Johnson is the 2nd best WR in the league and will continue to put up numbers.

21. Phins (1-3) GO BLUE. Henne is a fighter but they might have the toughest schedule in the NFL. Smoke more weed Ricky. Smoke more weed.

22. Skins (2-2) Jcambell is a scrub. Beat 2 of the worst in the league. Change at QB is overdue. Cooley is the f*ckin man and his wife is a total smoooooooooookefaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace. Only reason to watch a Skins game.

23. Bills (1-3) T.O. needs to up his sh*t talk soon before this team completely dies. No supporting cast to help him back up his words.

24. SeaHacks (1-3) Tj nice move this offseason. Way to be a cocky d*ck and run for the money. Career will die in Seattle.

25. Titans (0-4) 0-4. What are you the browns? Good chance to lose the next 3. I’d say start Vince Young but he’s a retard. Colt McCoy?

26. Panthers (0-3) Tough start against tough teams. Delhomme might be sent home after this season. Look for them to draft a QB. Will win the next 3 games.

27. Lions (1-3) Broke a 19 game losing streak. Calvin Johnson is the best WR in the NFL. Pettigrew is a beast. Stafford looks how a rookie should look. Will be a competitor in a few years.

28. Raiders (1-3) Dear Al Davis, die so this organization has a chance. Garcia is a winner, not a teacher. Should be the starter, would have had a decent season.
Russell is just collecting huge paychecks.

29. Brownies (0-4) What a turd of a football team. Showed signs of life against Cinci but they always do. Mangini turned this team into a sideshow. Brownie fans are already begging for basketball season to start. Braylon might be able to win a fight but this as a football team they look like total sh*t. My advice…Let Cribbs run the wildcat. Can’t exactly do any worse.

30. Chiefs (0-4) Maybe Larry Johnson should beat up his girlfriend again to jump start this mess of a season.

31. Buccs (0-4) Garbage. Almost making the Browns look good. Tough schedule remaining. 2 wins AT BEST.

32. STL (0-4) Tim Tebow?? Shame for SJ39 to be wasting his prime years on this piece of sh*t team

While I am venting about some disappointing teams and lost bets. Dear Stephen A. Smith, stop attempting to tweet or use any other form of communication to the public about football or baseball comments. I do not know how you have a job. You know basketball THAT IS IT. Yet people in the basketball world hate you because you are so annoying. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

Sahli_RT @stephenasmith I’d rather stub my toe while getting a papercut than listen to u attempt to know anything about football. stick to bball SAS about 3 hours ago from web in reply to stephenasmith

Sir Dubz’s 2009 NFL Predictions

September 7, 2009

It is that time of the year again folks. The pools are closing, the weather is changing, Chris Berman’s nutrisystems commercials are back, and that can only mean one thing: Football Season! Thursday Night at 8:30 PM the NFL season begins at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh when the Tennessee Titans come to Pittsburgh to take on the 6 time and defending Superbowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers. The NFL season has many different stories that the media will love to run with. Brett Favre came out of retirement for the 157th time and joins the Minnesota Vikings. Michael Vick aka Ron Mexico has been signed by the Philadelphia Eagles and looks to resurrect his career. These are just a few of the story lines that will be overplayed this season by the media, but lets get to the good part. I bring to you Sir Dubz’s 2009 NFL season predictions.

AFC North

1. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)– The Steelers come into the season actually stronger than last season. Their two big departures, CB Bryant McFadden and WR Nate Washington have been replaced by arguably stronger players in CB William Gay and WR Limas Sweed. The special teams have a huge upgrade with the return on P Daniel Sepulveda and new addition and soon to be star PR/KR Stefan Logan. Let’s not forget that #1 ranked defense and the old additive that until beaten, they are the champs.

2. Baltimore Ravens (10-6)-The Ravens will have their strong as usual defense back and with a year under his belt, Joe Flacco will be a tough force in the AFC north. If they can maintain health, the Ravens will be back in the playoffs again.

3. Cincinnati Bengals (9-7) The Bengals season rests on the health on QB Carson Palmer. One injury and its back to the basement with the Browns. The defense is improved with LB’s Rey Maualuga and Keith Rivers. Time will tell if Chad Ochocinco’s big mouth will back up all the smack his mouth has been running after his stellar 540 yard and 4 TD 2008 campaign.

4. Cleveland Browns (4-12)- Contrary to the belief of their fans every year that “this is the year”, it still isn’t. Mangina still has yet to pick a QB, acting like it is going to be hard to game plan for a wide receiver corp that our own Thunder Treats creator Dilo could probably see playing time with. The Browns have too many question marks and need to fill more holes before they can be considered in the rather tough AFC North. On a bright note, they do employ the top PR/KR in the league in Joshua Cribbs who will again dazzle people with his ability to return kicks.

AFC East

1. New England Patriots (12-4)– It will be hard to imagine a Patriots defense without Richard Seymour, Rodney Harrison, Tedy Bruschi, and Mike Vrabel, but it will be a reality. Tom Brady returns, but will he be able to remain injury free?

2. Miami Dolphins (10-6)- The Dolphins will again be a tough team and will employ the ever popular Wildcat offense. Can the defense continue to improve and give their offense chances to score?

3. New York Jets (9-7)- First year starting QB Mark Sanchez will learn quickly how it is to play in New York. The Jets have a good core of players returning, and will be a tough game for most opponents, however, fall short of the playoffs this year.

4. Buffalo Bills (5-11) All that needs said here is 4 word phrases: Team Cancer Terrell Owens.

AFC South

1. Indianapolis Colts (11-5) It will be interesting to see a Colts team without Tony Dungy roaming the sidelines. They still have double stuffed Oreo champion Peyton Manning at QB so naturally an easy choice to pick as division champs.

2. Houston Texans (10-6) The Texans are quietly building a roster with star players, but will they finally capitalize on opportunities and turn that into a playoff birth? The answer is YES!

3. Tennessee Titans (9-7) The Titans fall just short of making the playoffs and Lendale White can get an early start on his diet consisting of “just not drinking Patron.”

4. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11) We still continue wondering what Jack Del Rio was thinking when he picked David Garrard over Byron Leftwich. The Jags struggle and Mr Del Rio is going to be feeling the hot seat.

AFC West

1. San Diego Chargers (11-5) The Chargers have a plethora of talent, but forget how to play football come January. Is this the year the Chargers finally learn how to play football in January…No.

2. Kansas City Chiefs (8-8) The Chiefs think that bringing in Matt Cassel is going to bring them to the playoffs. News flash, you forgot to bring the rest of the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS that made him who he was. The Chiefs improve, but are still watching from home in January.

3. Oakland Raiders (5-11) The Raiders will still suck and Al Davis will still continue figuring out how to drive this franchise closer to his home in hell.

4. Denver Broncos (3-13) The Broncos will struggle mightily with the departure of QB Jay Cutler and disgruntled WR Brandon Marshall will do his best T.O. Jr impression when he has to have Kyle Orton or Chris Sims throwing him the football.

NFC North

1. Minnesota Vikings (11-5) If Mr Retirement can stay healthy, they Vikings will be in the thick of the NFC playoff race. They have all world RB Adrian Peterson and if he remains healthy, looks to have another amazing season.

2. Chicago Bears (10-6) The Bears finally have a QB under center with Jay Cutler, but can he prove to be a winner? He put up stats in Denver, but never lead them anywhere in the playoffs. The Bears will be back in the playoffs this year!

3. Green Bay Packers (9-7) QB Aaron Rodgers will have a Pro Bowl season, but the Packers will fall just short of making the playoffs this year.

4. Detroit Lions (2-14) I just can’t be that cruel to make them 0-16 again, so I found a heart and gave them 2 wins this year. Good Luck and God Speed Detroit. You will need it.

NFC East

1. Philadelphia Eagles (11-5) The Eagles will have plenty of attention with QB Michael Vick joining the team, but don’t let that fool you, they are loaded with talent. Will Donovan McNabb finally stop choking in big games and lead them to a Superbowl trophy? Nope

2. New York Giants (10-6) The Giants defense will keep them in games, and if RB Brandon Jacobs can continue to rumble, they will have another good year. WR’s Domenik Hixon and Steve Smith need to step up if the Giants want to get back to the playoffs.

3. Dallas Cowboys (10-6) The Cowboys will be a happier clubhouse without resident loudmouth T.O. there. Tony Romo must step up and make the plays necessary to get the Cowboys back to the playoffs. On a side note, Jerry Jones still remains a douche.

4. Washington Redskins (6-10) This is the old adage that money can’t buy you championships. Overpaid players that continue to underachieve.

NFC South

1. Atlanta Falcons (10-6) QB Matt Ryan will have another year under his belt and will lead the Falcons back to the playoffs.

2. Carolina Panthers (9-7) The Panthers will have a deadly running game, but will struggle to win games in the end.

3. New Orleans Saints (8-8) The Saints will again have the best offense in the NFL, but unfortunately for them, their defense blows. Many 45-41 games again this year and yet again no playoffs for the Saints.

4. Tampa Bay Bucs (7-9) While I like starting QB Byron Leftwich, the Bucs have too many question marks to make them a contender. Look out for starting RB Derrick Ward though.

NFC West

1. Arizona Cardinals (10-6) The Cardinals will win the NFC West, but that isn’t saying much. Their offense is pretty damn good, but it remains to be seen if the defense will step up. Look for another run in the playoffs for the Cardinals, but not anywhere like last year.

2. Seattle Seahawks (8-8) The Seahawks have gone downhill fast ever since losing Superbowl 40 to the Steelers. They have too many holes to be considered a playoff team.

3. San Francisco 49er’s (5-11) Shaun Hill – Michael Crabtree = Another shitty season.

4. St Louis Rams (4-12) The Rams will continue to struggle again this year. Look at the bright side St Louis, at least you got the Cardinals and Albert Pujols.

AFC Playoff Picture (* denotes a bye, # denotes a wild card)

1. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)*
2. New England Patriots (12-4)*
3. Indianapolis Colts (11-5)
4. San Diego Chargers (11-5)
5. Houston Texans (10-6)#
6. Baltimore Ravens (10-6)#

NFC Playoff Picture

1. Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)*
2. Minnesota Vikings (11-5)*
3. Arizona Cardinals (10-6)
4. Atlanta Falcons (10-6)
5. Chicago Bears (10-6)#
6. New York Giants (10-6)#

Wild card Weekend


3. Indianapolis Colts 17
6. Baltimore Ravens 16

4. San Diego Chargers 23
5. Houston Texans 14


5. Chicago Bears 31
4. Atlanta Falcons 23

6. New York Giants 27
3. Arizona Cardinals 24

Divisional Round


1. Pittsburgh Steelers 27
4. San Diego Chargers 13

2. New England Patriots 38
3. Indianapolis Colts 31


1. Philadelphia Eagles 34
6. New York Giants 17

5. Chicago Bears 17
2. Minnesota Vikings 14

Championship Games

AFC Championship

1. Pittsburgh Steelers 31
2. New England Patriots 27

NFC Championship

1. Philadelphia Eagles 27
5. Chicago Bears 23

Superbowl 44 in Miami, Florida on February 7th 2010

Pittsburgh Steelers 23
Philadelphia Eagles 17

The Pennsylvania Superbowl finally happens but the Steelers win #7 and cement themselves as the dynasty of the 2000’s.

Stallworth Suspended for 2009

August 13, 2009

This morning Roger Goodell, NFL Commish, handed down the sentence to Cleveland Browns WR Donte Stallworth. Stallworth will be suspended for the entire 2009 season without pay. This suspension coming after his guilty plea in June for DUI manslaughter. Stallworth will not be able to participate in any team functions until his reinstatement sometime after the Super Bowl. In a letter to Stallworth from Goodell he claimed that Stallworth had left a “stain” on the reputation of the NFL.

“Your conduct endangered yourself and others, leading to the death of an innocent man,” Goodell wrote. “The NFL and NFL players must live with the stain that you have placed on their reputations.”

I think Roger Goodell did a great job on this one. This was a very touchy area with Michael Vick just coming off a two year absence. He needed to send a message and he needed to be stern. He couldn’t have it look like he went lighter on a man who killed a person rather than a man that killed dogs. So the luck continues for the Cleveland Browns and we have another chapter in the “Only in Cleveland” novel. I guess we can kiss a Cleveland Browns World Championship goodbye now. Thanks a lot, Donte.


AFC North Preview

July 30, 2009

The recent news of Reuben Amaro making Mark Shapiro his bitch has been the icing on the dump of a cake that was the 2009 Cleveland Indians. For MLB fans like me whose teams have officially taken a crap on the season, it is time to move on and talk about the only two important things in life right now: Entourage and the anticipation of football season. What better way to combine the only two reasons for getting out of bed in the morning, than by previewing the AFC North using characters from Entourage (I would argue that so far this season of Entourage has been uneventful and borderline boring, but I have faith things will heat up).

Pittsburgh Steelers – Ari Gold

The undisputed most popular character of the show and the best team in the division. Both characters continue to have the best seasons of the bunch and each can be considered the sole reasons a majority of the world pays attention to their respective show/division. Each is starting off this season with a member of their team not being able to keep their slingshot in the holster. Both Roethlisberger’s rape allegations and Andrew Klein’s extra-marital affair could have major implications on this year’s season, but it’s not likely. Fans of the Steelers/Ari typically have few friends and watch the show/game at home by themseleves so they can have something to say to their co-workers who otherwise ignore them. Look for strong seasons out of both as the potential for greatness is always lurking in the background.

Baltimore Ravens – Vincent Chase

You can guarantee that they will both produce a solid season each and every year. They always seem to be in the running for the most interesting character/team but virtually always take a backseat to another team’s/character’s storyline. On the surface they seem strong with very few faults, but as you dig deeper there is always some insecurity that threatens their season. Is Vince really back and will he continue to be offered huge movies? Can the Ravens really compete in the division or for a title with those wide receivers and an aging defense? Look for solid seasons out of both, but neither will climb the mountain and regain what they once were.

Cincinnati Bengals – Johnny Drama

You can always count on a good laugh from each, though both have remained quiet so far this year. We have grown to expect the Bengals to be in trouble with the law and Drama to do something ridiculous. Though both are funny at times, Drama is clearly the douche bag of the show and the Bengals continue to be the douche bag of the division. Fans of these two can be heard screaming their battle cries “Who Dey?!” and “Victory!” with no regard to appropriate time or place. Fans of the Bengals/Drama think screaming these cheers is totally awesome, when in reality the cries are an effective vagina repellent. Look for both to do something stupid or hilarious this year that will make them the talk of the show/division for a week before they slink back off into mediocrity.

Cleveland Browns – Turtle

The classic underachiever of the show/division. Neither has ever found success on the show or within the division. Both show signs of life at times, but continue to be a minor player in the big picture. Confusion has been the theme for both thus far this season. Will Turtle go back to school or start his own business? Will it be Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson at the helm this year for the Browns? In the end, whether it’s business school or starting a business – Brady Quinn or Derek Anderson – does either decision really matter? There are signs that the Browns/Turtle may be heading towards overachieving this season. Turtle has somehow landed Jamie Lynn Sigler and is motivated to do something with his life. The Browns somehow have a happy Shaun Rogers and Braylon Edwards, a seemingly competent head coach for the first time in years and a cupcake schedule. Look for above average seasons out of both.