Archive for the ‘Tiger Woods’ Category

Tigers Two-Putt

December 2, 2009

As it usually goes with celebrity infidelity, the rumors flier higher and faster than anyone can imagine. Tiger Woods is no exception to that rule. Since last Friday’s car accident, things in Tigers world have been spinning faster than the backspin he can put on a ball and if you have ever seen Tigers backspin, you know exactly what I mean. US Weekly has obtained this voicemail from Tiger Woods to his LA cocktail waitress and on/off girlfriend Jaimee Grubbs in which he pleads with her to change her voicemail greeting because he fears his wife might be calling her. The interesting part is the voicemail is from the day before his world started tumbling. Grubbs claims that she and Tiger had a 31-month relationship but maintains that she knew their relationship would never be. As if the voicemail weren’t bad enough for Tiger, the text messages he allegedly sent to Ms. Grubbs are coming out too and they do not help his case in the slightest.

“I will wear you out . . . When was the last time you got laid?”


Tigers other side plate, Rachel Uchitel has been reporting that they have been close for the last 6 months or so. Uchitel is also and nightclub industry worker which may point to a trend with Tiger. Sources in Vegas and LA have reported seeing Tiger with different women and say that he was unhappy in his marriage and home life. Like that is somehow a reason to cheat on your gorgeous wife. Be a man and get a divorce before you go sinking any putts elsewhere. Uchitel also reported the same sort of texts coming from Mr. Woods as Ms. Grubbs had, but she also received an email from him that read:

“I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament,” he allegedly wrote. “I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f – – -ed by Derek and David. Some part of me thinks you would like that. But now I can’t get back to sleep. My body is tired, but mind awake. Need an Ambien.”

Uchitel has dated Yankee’s Derek Jeter and actor David Boreanaz, that would explain the “Derek and David” Tiger had dreamed she got F’d by. Who would have thought Tiger Woods would be so perverse? DUH. You’re a liar if you think he would never be capable of this email, these texts and even his actions. Tiger is a man, and I’m not letting him off the hook by saying that in the least, but you can’t honestly sit there and tell me you have shot off a perverse text or line at a woman that, if given the chance it would go public, you would recind it. This whole ordeal should be focusing on other things than his heat of passion text messages and emails. For instance, how about how many more women are there? What will Elin decide to do next? If she chooses to divorce Tiger, she is going to be Oprah rich and probably surpass Jordan’s divorce settlement of $150 million. This is going to stick to Tiger for the rest of his career. Much like once a baseball player is accused/found to be using steroids, it is always in the back of the fans mind. The key word there is fan. Tiger will still have fans, millions of them and he will still have the largest gallery at each event, but I think that his name will now forever be synonymous with cheating on his wife. When they talk of his golf game on ESPN, people will more than likely revert back to the days we are in right now instead of his unbelievable Masters putt. It is sad, but it is true. Tiger has made his bed and now he must lay in it. If he is smart, he’ll do this by himself without the aid of a cocktail waitress or nightclub hostess. He needs to step back, reevaluate his life and get on the right track. If he has burned his bridge with Elin, he needs to move on and be there for his kids. He needs to be proactive about the situation. Get it handled and get it over with because the faster it fades out of the media, the faster people will forget about it. Good luck bro.

Tiger Woods Response to current events via Tigerwoods.com

“I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it’s difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.”

US Weekly
NY Post

Thunder Links

August 3, 2009


These Links bring the Thunder…

Tiger Woods Enjoys a Good Fart [Awful Announcing]
People Face Planting on Bikes [Holy Taco]
Baseball + Beer = Awesome [More Hardball]
Green Bay’s Training Camp will Proceed Without a Tweet [No Guts, No Glory]
Jessica Alba is trying to Win Me Back [Sharapova’s Thigh]
Browns Keeping Quinn and Anderson? [Fan Nation]
The Peavy Incident [Rumors and Rants]
Did Percy Harvin Keep it Real? [Sparty and Friends]
The 10 Most Embarrassing Moments in White People Dancing History [Manofest]
Jake Brown Does Not Fear Death [Friends of the Program]
Uhhhhhh This is Pretty Terrible Sex Bait [Blog of Hilarity]