New Years

I will make this short, as this is my first blog and i don’t really know what the fuck i’m doing. Anyway, New Years Eve. I got pretty nasty last year on New Years. I’m going to drink my face off this year, maybe even someone elses face!

New Years is a time to be with friends and family, and get totally blasted. Everyone gets baligerent an stupid on this once a year occasion. I expect every one of my boys to be on the same page. When people call me to say HAPPY NEW YEAR, i want to be blasted. I want to tell them, ” I don’t remember how 2008 ended, and 2009 began.” They will ask why, and i will reply with “I started partying around 9:00 on December 31st 2008, blacked out, woke up in 2009!” wU! So Happy New Years to all.

P.S. Lets get BLASTED!!!!!

DILO VS. MAYS ROUND 1

DING DING DING.  Even though Billy Mays falls near the bottom of my infamous hate list, I still have to say that he has been especially annoying as of late.  First it was Oxyclean commercials driving me insane, then it was those plug in light switches.  The name of those plug in light switches escapes me at the moment because I never left the commercial on long enough to know what the hell he was screaming about.  Why is that Billy Mays forces most of america to adjust the volume on their TV’s during his awful infomercials?  I mean this guy has probably broken priceless china or deafened small children with his insane yelling.  Can you imagine if Billy had to yell over a crowd at you?  Yikes, that would register on the Richter scale.  The reason Billy Mays is back on my radar and moving up the hate list is because for some unknown and cruel reason, ESPN has decided to let him do some of their commercials.  WHAT THE HELL!  The worst part of all of this is that it is not just limited to television, he can be heard on the radio too.  I was at work today with headphones on (the reason for the headphones will be another post) and a commercial with Billy Mays came on and now I have a high pitch ringing in my left ear.  There should be a warning before his commercials for both TV and radio.  How anyone thinks he helps promote sales of a product is downright insane and is fit for a straight jacket.  This post has helped me to deal with my hatred of Billy Mays and has been very therapeutic.  There is one nice thing, and only one nice thing, that I could possibly say to Billy Mays if I ever get to hit him with my car…Nice Beard.

Dear Randy Lerner

I will make this very clear. If you do not offer Eric Mangini the head coaching vacancy, I might quit being a Browns fan. He is the right coach, at the right time, for the right team. Mangini just got fired from New York for going 10-6 because his retard of a QB threw 2 TD and 9 INT in the Jets last 3 games. The Crennelephant went 10-6 last year against a weak ass schedule and you got 3 Monday Night Football Games. Mangini coached under Bellichik when he was with the Browns back in the day so he understands the misery that is Cleveland Browns football. And, unlike the Crennelephant, Mangini doesn’t put up with any shit from anyone. Mangini is the one who called out the immortal Belichik on SpyGate and Mangini called out 103 year old Brett Favre this year for throwing check downs and screen passes to the wrong team. The Crennelephant on the other hand let his players do whatever they pleased and turned your team into the most unwatchable NFL team of the 2008 season. If you are reading this (of course you are) please hire Eric Mangini.

p.s. If you decide to hire Kirk Ferentz as the next coach of the Browns, I will pick a team from the NFC to root for in 2009.

i blame the bartender.

Wow.  I should actually be in the shower right now, but I see this post as slightly more important.  I had a flight to Ohio today at 9:15.  Then it was changed to 11:15.  And now it is scheduled for 2:45.  Normally I would go into a rage full of swearing, but this time I am grateful.  Last night was our friends birthday and by Bro Code I was obligated to go out and celebrate, even though the smart thing would have been to stay home.  So we went out and got drinks.  Then some more drinks.  After we were finished and everyone was going, I thought it would be a good idea to go to the Strip.  Not such a good idea at all.  A lot of people, including myself, think it is a great thing to have bartender for a friend.  Some people might call it getting hooked up, but I think there needs to be some rules.  For instance, last night the place was empty and we were clearly there for just 1 drink.  I believe we even told him that.  There was also only 2 of us, not the normal 5-6 people.  You could just tell that we weren’t looking for a crazy night.  Now the bartender seems to look at us as “full go” all the time, so he proceeded to make our drinks insanely strong.  Frank made it clear that he was driving and didn’t need another drink, but he still got them.  After all of the drinking of the night, I decided on the way home that I didn’t need all of that liquid, so I simply discharged it out the window.  I threw up.  I passed out as soon as I got home and I never packed.

This leads me into why I am happy for a delayed flight.  I woke up at 9:30 and jumped out of bed because I thought I slept through my flight.  After realizing I didn’t miss it I calmed down, but almost immediately went back into a panic because my ride was going to be there any minute and I hadn’t packed a thing.  I opened the suit case and started throwing clothes across the room into it.  Then the ride called and informed me of the delay.  Disaster averted.  Now I would have made the flight, no argument, but I am certain that I would have forgotten about 85%-90% of the things I was supposed to bring home.  So instead of rushing I was able to have a nice breakfast and relax and pack everything I needed.  I think.  Shit.

Now on to the shower portion of my day.

it snowed where?

Yesterday here in Las Vegas, we had snowfall in the area anywhere from 1″ to 8″+.  Being from the east coast originally, I knew what to expect with the roads and such.  This is a picture outside my house last night, probably around 7:30 or so.  I made sure to get the palm tree on the left hadn side in the picture.  A palm tree covered in snow just doesn’s seem right at all does it?  Clark County School District cancelled classes for Thursday around 8:30 the night before.  Did you read that right?  I said The Night Before!  This would not be the case in Northeast Ohio, that is for sure.  In Ohio, you go to bed swearing about the Superintendent or Dean of your school system because he is heartless and wants everyone to suffer.  When you wake, you praise him for having mercy and letting you have a day off.  Although that only lasts about 5-10 minutes, then it is back to hating him for making you do your homework the night before because you thought you had class.  You get 6 inches of snow there and its like “OK, put on an extra layer and get to work”.  The luxury of being in a climate with limited inclimate weather is that when it happens, it is a huge deal and not as much a pain in the ass as it would be back in Ohio.  It was a little funny to hear reactions of people from Ohio that laughed out loud when I told them the whole city was shutting down because of 6 inches of snow.  But you have to think, what was the city, with a population of 2 million plus,  going to do with only 14 snow trucks? 

This is new.

For the first time, I am blogging.  Feels great, I must say.  Now don’t worry, there is a point to me having a pointless blog.  For instance, I am “practicing” for a bigger, better blog that will be up and running sometime in January.  This blog here is for anything I feel like.  Whether it be a topic on sports or a topic on current events.  Or maybe both.  We can talk about Tyler Hansbrough breaking the all time scoring record at North Carolina.  Or we can talk about the guy who threw the shoes at President Bush.  I am up for anything and everything.  Most of the time I will be venting about the state of sports in Cleveland, Ohio.  If you are from or are a fan of Cleveland, then you know exactly what I mean.  Otherwise, we will be talking about whatever is on my mind after work.  I look forward to getting blogged with you.

D.

Hump Day Hotties

The archives for the Hotties of Hump Day. These smoke faces help get us over the hump and onto Friday each and every week…

6/17/09 – Nathalie Fay
6/24/09 – Stacey Dash
7/01/09 – Amanda Righetti
7/08/09 – Gina Carano
7/15/09 – Emmanuelle Chriqui
7/22/09 – KaDee Strickland
7/29/09 – Rachael Taylor
8/05/09 – Michelle Monaghan
8/12/09 – Amber Heard
8/19/09 – Charissa Thompson
8/26/09 – Kate Mara
9/02/09 – Autumn Reeser
9/09/09 – Julie Benz
9/16/09 – Jana Kramer
9/23/09 – Diora Baird
9/30/09 – Adrianne Palicki
10/07/09 – Kaley Cuoco
10/14/09 – Natalie Gulbis
10/21/09 – Jessie James
10/28/09 – Amanda Beard
11/04/09 – Chelan Simmons
11/11/09 – Catherine Bell
11/18/09 – Sarah Wright
11/25/09 – Leslie Bibb

Enemies of The Month

Even though these people are not the current Enemy of The Month they are, for the most part, still considered d-bags and labeled as such by the Thunder Treats community and writers.

February 2009 – Chris Brown

March 2009 – Manny Ramirez

May 2009 – Rajon Rondo

June 2009 – Kate Gosselin

July 2009 – Jeremy Mayfield

August 2009 – Unidentified Douche Bag

September 2009 – Kanye West

October 2009 – Braylon Edwards

November 2009 – Brandon Spikes

Greatest Hits

– Cougar Madness Tournament
– Hottest Wives
– SI Cover Girls
– If I had a $120 Million
– Things I would Rather Do Than Listen to Stephen A. Smif
– SI Curse, Reversed?
– Can Lebron be Heir to the Air?
– Hey ESPN! Eat Farts!
– Daly Should be on the $2 Bill
– Top 10 Tourney Moments
– A-Rod or A-Fraud?
– DiLo vs. Mays, Round 1
– Mike 1, Chair 0 Final
– Still Wanna Be Like Mike?
– Bring Back the Bud Bowl
– Snake-isms
– Let’s Castrate David Stern
– Thunder Treats HOTegories
– Facial Hair, Ain’t Nothin Wrong with That!
– The Fantasy Four
– Top 10 Hollywood Designated Drivers
– The Best Quote of The Michael Vick Saga…EVER.
– Michael “Mad Dog” Vick Joins Donovan “Chunky Soup” McNabb
– Top 10 Quotes from #33 Tim Riggins
– Ever Played Quarterback before? Great!

Authors

There are currently 8 different contributing authors to Thunder Treats from all over the United States. For the most part, we all went to the same high school except for one who hails from “Wildcat Alley”. Since high school we have all spread out but have not lost our love for babes and sports.

DiLo Creator – DiLo lives in Las Vegas and balls out in his spare time. Most of his post will be about women, top tens and anything he damn pleases seeing as how he is creator.

Jack Potts Creator – Mr. Potts resides in Las Vegas as well and was as much a visionary for Thunder Treats as DiLo was. Jack’s posts focus more on sports and venting about sports (see “Hey ESPN, Eat Farts!“).

So Cal Shredder Author – Shredder hails from…you guessed it…San Diego in b-e-a-utiful Southern California. Shredder is an important part of Thunder Treats. Not only are his posts hilariously funny, he also provides us with new SoCal lingo so we stay hip.

Louie D Author – LD43 rocks his posts from the rust belt. Youngstown born, Youngstown bread. Louie D’s insight into NBA breakdowns are unmatched and thoroughly researched. Louie D was also dunked on by LeBron James in high school. By “dunked on” I mean Posterized.

Jeb Author – Jeb publishes his posts from our Chicago location. No one anywhere on Earth has more information on Cleveland sports. Jeb is our Cleveland/NBA blogger. If it happens in Cleveland, odds are it sucks and Jeb is pissed about it.

Sir Dubz Author – Although he represents Akron, Ohio, Sir Dubz bleeds black and gold. He would be the Ying to Jebs Yang. Dubz keeps all of Thunder Treats in check by not letting us get too biased on the Buckeyes or Cleveland. Consider him being an Author our own little “Affirmative Action”.

Sahli Author – Sahli rips out posts from sunny Orlando, Florida. When he is not recruiting girls to be our Shorty with The Dumps or scoping chicks at Disney, he is giving us hilarious posts about things no one else would think of like The Ass Towel. He also owns the most extesive collection of cut offs known to man.

DiNunzio Author – DiNunzio hammers out his idea’s from the rust belt with Louie D. DiNunz might be one of the funniest mother f*ckers we have ever met. He has been added to find the comedy in all things sports and women. Because if something funny can be spun from something serious, DiNunzio can do it.